Saturday, October 17, 2009

I want to be.

I will focus on school and on healing.

My face is still swollen and my gums still throb and bleed, but I'm sure with time it'll get better.

I feel this sudden urge to focus and be one with all the work I have to do. I have 5 lectures to cover for my midterm this coming Friday, and even if I were to cover just one lecture a day (which is usually about three articles to read and take notes on), I could finish everything on Wednesday and then have Thursday to read lecture notes and review.

I'm so glad my film lecture on Thursday night is cancelled. It's really good luck. Or maybe even Karma.

I'm also really lucky with midterms this year. Instead of having five midterms back to back like I usually have had, I have them all spread out throughout the next four weeks.

I'm cutting Facebook out of my life again. I need a people detox, if that even makes sense. I don't think its healthy the way we let ourselves be bombarded by so much useless information. The way we read over the details of people's lives when we could be reading over some amazing book. I know it all sounds a little silly/corny/nerdy but that's what I've been thinking and feeling as of late.

Speaking of amazing books, I've been reading Wuthering Heights. I like it so far but I have a terrible feeling it'll end badly as most Gothic era novels do.

I'm excited to do well on all my courses. I'm excited to let go of all the outside relationships that have done me no good and just focus on healing and nurturing. I want to focus on making myself a better person... I want to be more intelligent, trustworthy, caring. I want to be able to look back, ten years down the road, and be able to say: "Yeah, that was the day I decided to take that step towards doing something great."

I wanna be so amazing that the people who decided they didn't wanna stick around beat themselves up over it ;)

Hell yeah, I'm going to be AWESOME.


Cansu said...

It's going to be legen... wait for it... I hope you're not lactose intolerant... DARY! lol

I hart you dear. I'm here for support. You can do it!

penguinone said...

I loved this post! It makes me want to do the same.

I've been doing a bit of people-detoxing myself :)

Proud of yoU!

Also, it was great talking to you today. Always keeps me grounded when I do :) Thanks!


2 Dollar Productions said...

Had to backtrack on posts as I got behind, so first, glad to hear the wisdom teeth are healing as I know that is no fun at all. Personally, I don't know as I was born without any wisdom teeth (I know, lots of hate from people), but everyone says that is royally sucks. You should have holed up with good movies, books and magazines to heal & don't short the painkillers.

Second, I wasn't a huge fan of 'Wuthering Heights' as I had to read it for an honors English class in high school, and that probably had something to do with my dislike for it.

Finally, stellar ending for the post as I figure everyone has to find motivation for doing things & as long as you're striving for something better then things will generally fall into line.

BrightenedBoy said...

This is a very nice post. It's good to take a step back: today's society is superfluous and vacuous in a way that I think no society has ever been before. It's hard not to drown in that pointlessness and mediocrity.