Saturday, February 20, 2010

I'm weird.

Nothing like scrubbing the bathtub to the sound of Regina Spektor to pump me up for the work ahead.

Sometimes I feel bipolar. It's been... two hours since my spur of motivation. Now I just feel confused and disheveled all over again. Not much makes sense. Am I insane?

Friday, February 19, 2010

Not sure.

I finally finished reading The Golden Compass for my children's literature class. Took me long enough! I'm intent on finishing The House with the Clock in its Walls tonight... because after that I have to read Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban. I know it sounds silly complaining about having to read children's books. Last year I would have hit myself in the head if I heard me complain about this.

Still, after all that I still need to get to my geography readings and subsequent paper done, actually study for the midterm I have for English, and hopefully start on the essay for the essay competition I so thoughtlessly entered last week... an essay competition with a topic that has me frazzled and clueless.

It doesn't help that I have near to no motivation lately. The thought of my break ending on Monday and returning to that dreaded gray building has me a little upset. The winter term just has got me so drained. I'm sure the Canadian weather doesn't help.

Is it weird that the Olympian athletes make me feel inadequate? Haha... I don't know. I watch them and think back to the dreams I used to have. Wanting to become a writer, a journalist, maybe even publishing a book one day. I know I can still accomplish it, but it all feels so far away now. My writing feels so stiff, my mind even more-so.

Still, I love being able to sit in my room all day, surrounded by nothing by books. I like this hermit lifestyle to an almost unhealthy extent. Avoiding potential hangouts with random people this past week is an art I have perfected. I guess I'm just not as social as I used to think I was. Or maybe it's the vacation blues I'm so prone to.

Despite all that, I'm super excited to take the lovely friend who just got back from Halifax out to dinner. I think we might just go to that fancy Persian place I love so much. :)

Sunday, February 7, 2010


"People don't want to be like themselves. They all choose a model to imitate, or if they don't choose a model, they accept one ready-made. Yet I believe there are other things to be read in a man. No one dares. No one dares turn the page. The law of imitation - I call it the law of fear. They fear finding themselves alone, so they don't find themselves at all."

Andre Gide - The Immoralist